As we celebrate Father's Day in Indonesia (12 November 2025), I'm reminded of the message behind the parenting best-selling book, "Tanpa Ayah, Tanpa Arah — Fatherless, Aimless Life: Fathering the Loneliest Gen." The book explores how fatherlessness is not just a private pain, but a growing social phenomenon with deep psychological and societal consequences.

The Data Behind the Crisis

Globally, research shows that children who grow up without an engaged father are at significantly higher risk of experiencing depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and lower academic performance.

2–3x Higher risk of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse in fatherless children
(Harvard Child Development Study, 2023)
1 in 3 Indonesian children experience some form of father absence — physical, emotional, or psychological

The Silent Crisis: What Drives Fatherlessness?

In the book, co-authored by David Wongso and Agung Setiyo Wibowo, several factors contributing to this silent crisis are described:

  1. Cultural misconceptions about the father's role — viewing fathers mainly as providers, not nurturers.
  2. Long working hours and poor work-life balance, particularly in urban centres.
  3. Extreme commuting times, such as 3–4 hours daily for those living in Bekasi and working in Jakarta.
  4. Lack of education and awareness about fathering skills and emotional intelligence.
  5. Personal ambition and material pursuit often prioritised above family, health, and faith.
  6. Non-family-friendly workplace policies, making father involvement harder.

The Ripple Effect

The impact of fatherlessness extends far beyond families. It correlates with rising mental illness, youth delinquency, and relationship instability. When fathers disengage, children often lose not just a role model but a sense of direction — emotionally, morally, and socially.

“When fathers disengage, children often lose not just a role model but a sense of direction — emotionally, morally, and socially.”

The Power of Present Fathers

Conversely, research consistently affirms that active, nurturing fathers contribute to better mental health outcomes, higher resilience, and stronger empathy in children (APA, 2024). A healthy family, anchored by present fathers and mothers, becomes society's first line of defence against social decay — from violence and addiction to loneliness and burnout.

Investing in Fatherhood for Indonesia 2045

As Indonesia dreams of Golden Indonesia 2045, we must also invest in Fatherhood — where fathers are not just breadwinners, but bridge-builders of cognitive ability, soft skills, self-esteem, love, identity, and wellbeing.

“A stronger father means a stronger family. A stronger family means a stronger nation.”

Originally published on LinkedIn — David Wongso